"Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." - Matthew 22:37

During one of my coaching sessions, we evaluated how one of my clients rated various areas of his life to determine what was most important to him. His score for his relationship with God was very high. However, his relationship with his wife was ranked very low. This led to a discussion about how you truly determine the value you place on your relationship with God.

When asked to select which of the commandments was the greatest, Jesus pointed out two: the first, to love God; the second, to love your neighbor as yourself. He went on to say that in addition to being the two greatest commandments, on these hang all the law and the prophets (Matthew 22:37-39). In other words, if you truly love God and your neighbor, you will live in obedience to all the Ten Commandments and the teachings of the Bible.

In reality, we can actually narrow these commandments down to just one: to love God. In all honesty, you cannot truly love God, and yet not also love those around you. 1 John 4:20-21 states, “If someone says, ‘I love God’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.”

God is spirit, so it is sometimes easy to confuse our love for Him with religious activities such as going to church, praying, reading the Bible, tithing, etc. Occasionally, we forget that these actions are not in place of loving God, but rather are a part of loving Him. They are designed to equip us and sanctify us so that we may be better able to love those around us. The time we spend engaging in these activities should impact the love we have for those around us. You cannot isolate your love for God from your love for your neighbor.

How then do you know if you are genuinely loving your neighbor? The Apostle Paul gave us a great guide for answering this question in 1 Corinthians 13. This chapter, which is often referred to as “The Love Chapter,” serves as a great method of measuring our love for our neighbor. Paul lists the character traits of love that must be evident and active in our relationships with others:

• Love suffers long
• Love is kind
• Love does not envy
• Love does not parade itself
• Love is not puffed up
• Love is not rude
• Love does not seek its own
• Love is not easily provoked
• Love thinks no evil
• Love does not rejoice in iniquity
• Love rejoices in truth
• Love bears all things
• Love believes all things
• Love hopes all things
• Love endures all things

Whether it is your relationship with your wife, your employees, your customers, your vendors, or your business associates, your interactions should be reflective of your ability to live out these 15 characteristics of love as well as your personal relationship with God.

If you are truly spending time in prayer and devotion, in worship and study of the Bible, then those around you should be able to see these characteristics manifested in your interaction. If you struggle with spending time with God, then now is the time to change. You need to actively increase how much time you spend with the Lord. Ask the question, “Is it truly God I have been worshiping or have I created a god after my own image?”

The client I spoke of earlier is one individual who has learned to live a life reflective of the 1 Corinthians 13 passage and ultimately God’s character in general. He is now applying these characteristics to his relationship with his wife, not because she changed, but because he did. Your relationship with your neighbor does not depend on their actions, but yours. It relies on you and your love for God.

My prayer for you today is that you will cultivate your love for God so that He may give you the grace to love those around you, especially those who you find most difficult to love.

Reflection: What are the 15 characteristics of love and are you applying them?
 
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